Transformation

[Rose Moon]

Dear Friends,
I just got back from visiting my 89 year old dad in Texas. He is soon to pass on and is with a wonderful caregiver. He and I have had a very strained relationship all of my adult life, he being an alcoholic and me being the classic co-dependent.
I made up my mind that I wanted to transform this relationship for me and for him so I made a commitment to attend AL Anon meetings regularly and began changing myself and my behavior towards him, sending him love and forgiveness and refusing to feel hurt and angry at him for his failures. It has worked! We have had a major break through. I don't expect perfection for either of us, but it is all perfect in the big picture. I think he now feels complete in this life and I feel a huge weight lifted. It is like I have finally just let go of something huge that I thought was a part of me, but was only a heavy burden I was carrying. Much love to all of you, Rose

[Cathryn Tezha Swann]

Hi Rose,

Thanks for sharing this. I, too, am the child of an alcoholic. My mother drank herself to death when I was 25 - and I was too young to be able to take an active, conscious part in seeking healing. I just knew I felt so sorry for her, but I felt helpless and unable to do anything. It's good that you got to deal with it in a positive way while your Dad is still living.

And, it's also good you got to resolve a difficult relationship with a parent at all... I had a difficult relationship with my father, but while he was in the process of approaching his own death from cancer, he kept telling me he was just "feeling tired" and didn't need me to come visit. I was in Denver, he was in Houston. I guess he was just not up to facing up to the truth of our relationship, and perhaps his own death, but he kept me at a distance, even though I was trying to reach out to him.

So I've done a lot of self-examination and self-healing about my relationships with both of them.... but I've had to do it alone. I'm glad you had an opportunity to change your relationship with your Dad while both of you can benefit from it. It's a healing thing for both of you.

Blessings,
Cathryn

[Rose Moon]

I do feel very blessed to have had this experience with my dad. I know how you feel though. My mom died from codependency and I did not get a chance to see her the last 6 months of her life. There is always a way to heal a relationship even if the person has moved on and it looks like you are doing a great job of it. Many people never even think of it. It's great to be aware of the greater Universe.
Peace and Love,
Rose